Jack the Alarm Clock

Jack's Jem:

  So its the weekend and what does Jack not do on the weekend, yep sleep in.  Below is my introduction to the weekend.

  So I am in bed just at that point of  dozing back off to sleep after my poor wife had to get up for work.  You know that point when your really relaxed and everything is going to black, yeah that point.  It was at this moment that Jack entered my room in a fashion that would have made the LAPD SWAT proud.  For my military and police friends it was textbook violence of action.  The door swings open violently and light pours in form the hallway.  Before the door ever stops moving Jack is in the room and making his announcement; "GOOD MORNING DAD, WAKIE WAKIE EGGS AND BACIE!!!, ok I am going to watch cartoons now."   

  It was over as fast has it had happened.  I am now awake and stunned with no snooze button to mash.  

Enjoy 

The Dad, "I might as well get up"

What kind of Popsicle are you?

Jacks Jem:

  I made dinner the other night, OK more like we went out to dinner. It was on our way home that Jack struck with his usual flair.  This particular evening was particularly cold and once we were in the car Jack's sister said she felt like a Popsicle.  I decided to ask the kids if they were a Popsicle what flavor they would be.  Jack announced without any hesitation that he would be "Fartberry Flavored!"  I could not help it, so I asked were exactly do Fartberries come from?  To which I got this response; "you take a bunch of berries and you fart on them."  It is so clear now, and I am so not eating any Fartberries. 

Enjoy

The Dad

A Lesson in Stuffed Animal Etiquette

Jack's Jem:

The "Culprit"

   Today's Jem is the result of a particular goofy Jack and a stuffed animal.  So last night I told Jack he needed to go to bed, but in typical Jack fashion he did not want to go.  Luckily for us he was just begin goofy about going up to bed and was not angry.  I finally got him moving up the stairs and I noticed the small stuffed dog that Jack has had since he was born lying in on the living room floor. At this point I did what any parent would do who is tired of stepping on toys, I told him to take his dog up stairs.  

  Jack runs back down and grabs his little dog and stops in front of me and looks right at me.  He then places the dog in my lap and lifts the dogs back leg on my side.  Once the animal was in position Jack lets out a loud "pssssssssssssssssssssss" sound.  Now this happen very quickly and I am sitting there the whole time thinking to myself, he is not really going to have his little dog pretend pee on me. The Mom jumps in and says to him " Jack, don't you know it is rude to pee on people."  To which Jack responded with some amount of authority "Not for stuffed animals!" He then runs up the stairs without further performance. 

 

 Here the parents take a pause for laughing and after conferring with each other we decide one he has left us without a pithy response and two where is the book on stuffed animal etiquette. 

Enjoy

The "Glad I am not really wet" Dad.

PS.  Jack hears me conferring with the Mom this morning about this post and informs us that the dog thought I was a fire hydrant and had to go to the bathroom.  I will have to remember not to wear anything red and sit still too long.