Where and how not to get milk!

Jack's Jem:

  So I know it's been a little while since I have gotten a Jem posted, but I have been ridiculously busy with school. Jack has not let up though and I wish I had gotten them posted.  Here is the latest installment of the Jems that should help make up for the wait.

  So last weekend I decided to give the kids a treat Sunday morning and go get some doughnuts.  I did it just for the kids I swear. So I asked Jack if he wanted to go with me and initially he did not want to, but when I told him I wanted his help because we were doughnut hunting he decided it was a good idea. The hunting part proved to be pretty easy it was picking them out of the herd that got a little difficult especially when I had help.

  Now fast forward to just the other day and the Mom wants to go to the store and get milk. Well she asks Jack if he wants to go hunt milk with her, to which he says yes, and the following is a list of the hunting recommendations and advice that were provided by Jack on how to hunt said milk.  ( important note: there is a dairy on the University and Jack knows about it )

1. Get the milk to come to you:  Jack stands at the back door and attempts to call the cows to our house so we can milk them.  This option did not work and I think the neighbor might be a little concerned now.

2. Enlist help to get the milk.  Those of you who have followed this blog know this all started with the cat and guess who was drafted to assist in this effort.  This plan is a little complicated and I will endeavor to explain it since it is both brilliant and a little disturbing.  First build a catapult (no pun intended) then train the cat to milk a cow and carry the milk back to the house. Now load the cat on the catapult (ok I might have intended that one) and shoot the cat into the dairy to get the milk.  Unfortunately the time needed to train the very unwilling cat finally ruled out this plan.  I have a hard time not seeing a bad Disney cartoon when I think of this plan.

3.  With his other plans in ruins, Jack had to resort to the old fashion way of getting milk, going to the store.  What follows is the Mom's recounting of the conversation that took place during milk hunt.

     Evidently Jack felt that the Mom was not sufficiently knowledgeable on her milk facts to be an effective hunter, so he set out to fix that.  Jack explained where milk comes from and provided the Mom with a list of animals; cow, goat, etc, from whom you could milk.  That is until he came to the lowly Reindeer, (yes I said Reindeer) to which he explained don't provide milk they give eggnog!

I will forever see Santa milking his Reindeer every time I drink eggnog, if I ever do again.
Enjoy
The Dad